Background
Don't even think of coming back!
Hekmat Dirbas from Syria is working on his doctorate in Leiden and tries to contact his family andloved ones every day. "I see dead children in my nightmares too."
Petra Meijer
Wednesday 18 September 2013

"Killing is killing, whether you do it with a knife or with chemical weapons – the result is the same", says Hekmat Dirbas (37) shaking his head. He left his native country, Syria, in 2011 to work on a PhD in Middle Eastern Studies in the Netherlands. When he left, everything was still quiet. Now he’s very worried about an American attack. "My family lives next to a military airfield."

Dirbas, originally a historian, had a good job as a teacher at secondary school in Syria. His specialism was Semitic languages and he decided to go to the Netherlands to work on a PhD. "Although the cost of living is high here, the tuition fees are reasonable."

He had only been in the Netherlands a few weeks when protests were held in Damascus. "Soon, the peaceful revolt turned into riots that were rigorously quelled, and consequently both sides radicalised."

He admits that the regime, prior to the insurgency, was authoritarian. "But people are flexible and they find a way to cope with that. We knew what we could and couldn’t do. It was fine as long as you didn’t get too involved in politics."

The riots reached Aleppo in the summer of 2011, coming close to the community in which he grew up and close to where his family still lives. "They told me how much the country had changed: inflation meant that food was five to ten times more expensive. Oil and electricity weren’t available and so, in desperation, people burned their books and clothes for warmth in the winter. Transportation lines broke down too. The trip from my town to Aleppo used to take minutes but you can’t do it in under four hours now, with all the check-points."

His problems in the Netherlands grew too: the Lira, or Syrian pound, collapsed so his savings were suddenly worth much less and transferring money wasn’t easy.

"It was a difficult time. The events in Syria were causing financial problems and I wondered whether I should return home."

But when he mentioned his worries to his family, they were unanimous: "You’re there now and you should make the best of it. Don’t even think of coming back."

Keeping in touch with his family is fraught with trouble: due to the poor Internet connection, he has only managed to Skype them two or three times in two years. He usually rings them on his Nokia. "You never know when they have electricity so I try and ring them several times a day – every day."

He manages to contact them about once every two weeks. "But my parents are sly and don’t want me to worry, so they try to turn every conversation towards my situation. ‘How’s your course?’ they’ll ask while I want to know how they are faring, of course."

He has, by now, found his own means of acquiring information. He follows a number of young people on Facebook and knows a few useful websites. And obviously, he watches the news: "But I think it’s often exaggerated."

He wants to point out that his talks with his family are not always gloomy. "We have happy times too, because we can finally talk to each other again, and there’s other stuff. Last time I spoke to my family, I heard that my brother has a new baby. Life goes on and there’s room for a little happiness."

Nonetheless, it’s been weeks since Dirbas last spoke to his family. Three weeks ago, he heard that three of his former pupils had been killed in skirmishes in the country. The suspense is dreadful. Although it is not unusual not to hear anything from his family for three weeks, he is terribly worried about the imminent retaliations by the Americans.

"My family lives close to a military airfield and to three military bases. Although America claims they use "smart" missiles, I can’t really rely on their precision with my relatives so close to potential targets. We’re used to the fighting; it’s been raging for two and a half years. But I’m scared of an American attack because I can’t imagine what will happen. The regime will just stay in power so it won’t solve anything. I don’t trust the Americans and I’m scared it will turn into another Iraq or Lebanon. Do you really think that Obama cares about the Syrian people? He’s mainly worried about how the rest of the world sees him. America would rather see Syria as a weak country. But if the Americans don’t do anything, it will just reinforce Assad’s position.

"The Dutch media frequently portray the conflict in Syria as matter of minorities or religion, but I think that socio-economic factors are more likely to be the cause. The difference between rich and poor was huge in Syria and many people left the country to live in cities, hoping to find a better future. But they couldn’t really adapt or fit in and the unrest in other countries stirred up their feelings of dissatisfaction. The right-wing parties have turned those feelings to their own advantage - you could say they hijacked the uprising."

He regards intervention by America and other Western countries as a form of imperialism. "How many wars did you have before you had a democratic system? How much time did it take? We need to rebuild the country first and make sure everyone has the basic necessities before we can work on democracy. We have to learn from this and we have to do it ourselves."

Dirbas realises that the images of dead children shocked the world. "I see dead children in my nightmares too, but they have been part of my nightmares for a long time. I can understand that many people feel that something should be done. They mean well but unfortunately, good intentions often go astray. Do you want to help? Don’t send troops, send food, education and give them somewhere to live. Luckily, now that Kerry’s spoken, a diplomatic, political and peaceful solution seems possible. Obviously, I don’t know what the future will bring, but in any case, I’m relieved that there’s less chance of an American intervention."